Originally I planned to talk about lessons learned as a clinical instructor. I was going to address the differences between here vs the US and how the students have inspired me to reconsider leaving patient care for non-clinical work. As life would have it, I went home to Houston, enjoyed time with people I expected to see and unexpectedly ended up seeing. This led to some introspection on what I have learned about life and myself in just five and half short months. I’ll discuss the clinical instructor side of things on my next post. For now, as part of the five part series, read through these six lessons that I have learned since habitating in Belize. It may surprise you…or it may inspire you to reflect on your own journey.
If it is your first time to the blog, check out my very first post here!
Lessons I Didn’t Expect to Learn in Belize
There’s something about stepping out of your normal life that makes things… louder.
Not externally. Internally.
Things you thought you had figured out. Things you thought you had moved past. They don’t disappear just because you changed your environment. If anything, they follow you a little more closely.
Here are a few things that have come up for me since being here.
1. Unresolved Challenges Will Follow You
I will be the first to admit that I am a bit of a control freak. When I went back to grad school, it honestly wasn’t because I wanted to. I just didn’t know what direction to go in, and waiting tables was not what I wanted to do forever. At the time, I didn’t know how to make decisions for myself. I was seeking a lot of guidance and input, and while I am truly grateful for that, I didn’t realize what it was doing over time. Every time I looked outward for answers, I wasn’t building confidence in my ability to trust myself. That difficulty has shown up here more than I expected. It’s been eye-opening to see how loss, grief, and past experiences can still influence you even when you think you have it together. What has changed is how I respond. I’ve been working to apply what I’ve learned in therapy — trusting my decisions and trusting that no matter the outcome, I will be able to handle it.
2. Building Connections and Finding Your Center Are Vital for Growth
Wishing for others to reach out to you won’t lead to change. YOU have to take steps. You have to be aware of your needs, express them, and allow people to show up for you. That was not easy for me. There was shame in the feelings that were coming up — shame in feeling “needy.” Even guilt surfaced from times where I had expressed a need before and it wasn’t received well. But through reflection, I’ve learned that expressing basic needs is not something to suppress. The people who create space for those conversations are the ones I continue to lean on. At the same time, finding a center or higher power to stay grounded is just as important. For me, that is God. I am not perfect at this, but I notice a difference when I don’t take time to pray, sit with scripture, or write to process my thoughts. When I skip those moments, something feels off. That grounding — whatever it looks like for you — matters more than I realized.
3. Intentional Living: Setting Your Own Values and Path
Perspectives and past experiences shape how we move through life, but other people’s opinions can easily drown out our own voice if we let them. I’ve had to take a step back and really ask myself what I value. Intentional living, for me, has come down to recognizing that it is a choice — and a repetitive one. I am choosing to be healthy. I am choosing to rest. I am choosing to not absorb someone else’s projections onto my goals or plans. I am choosing to love people even when they test my patience. Being intentional requires space — quiet moments, brain dumping, and organizing what actually matters. It’s been a process of asking: what do I want my life to look like, and who do I want to become? Giving myself the time to answer those questions has been necessary, both personally and professionally.
4. Patience is a virtue is not just an affirmation
Here in Belize, patience is not optional. In the U.S., so much of life is built around convenience and instant gratification. If we want something, we can usually get it within days. That is not the case here. Getting to Belize City can take 5–7 hours on a bus. Packages can take over a month to arrive — and you may not even know when they show up unless you track someone down to ask. I had to ask my landlord to check on one for me because I had no way of knowing if it had arrived. It forces you to slow down whether you want to or not. Patience may come with age, but it can also be built through circumstances that require it. This is one of those places.
5. Growth Requires Imperfection
From a recovering perfectionist’s perspective, this has been a hard one. I’ve come to understand that perfectionism can be a trauma response. For me, it was a way to control the narrative — if I did everything right, then nothing bad would happen. If I avoided mistakes, I wouldn’t be judged. As I’ve worked through that, my quirks and tendencies have started to make a lot more sense. Growth, though, doesn’t happen in perfection. It happens in the mess of trying, failing, and adjusting. This blog itself was built through trial and error, creating a website. Learning how to invest came from taking risks. Becoming a better instructor has come from feedback, criticism, and trying different approaches when something doesn’t work. I still deal with imposter syndrome — sometimes daily, sometimes hourly. But I also know I won’t become the version of myself that my younger self needed if I continue to avoid failure.
6. Sit with Yourself in the Quiet
This was another hard lesson. When you slow down and remove distractions, your mind starts to wander. And not always to comfortable places. For me, intrusive thoughts and a loud inner critic showed up quickly. Emotions I didn’t want to deal with surfaced — anger, resentment, jealousy, sadness. For a long time, I labeled those as “bad” emotions. But they’re not. They’re human. Allowing myself to feel them without immediately shutting them down has made it easier to sit with myself, even on harder days. And in an unexpected way, it’s also made me more present on the good ones — the days where I can actually be in the moment and appreciate where I am.
I tell everyone how much I miss my home of TX, a place I would not have considered becoming the next place I call home 10+ years ago. However, I know the opportunity I have to live here is unique and life-changing. I cannot wait to see where the next six plus months will take me.
Stay tuned for the next most in our series about lessons learned as a rehab director and clinical instructor for a non-profit.
With Love From Belize,
Allora Mariesa
Growth is good and you’re right, it can be messy.
It was great spending time with you in Houston. What a pleasant surprise.